Depression

When it's not just a bad mood

I don't like writing serious things (mostly). I'm more of a sarcastic writer, with a touch of comedy. However in light of recent events I've decided that some things need to be said. 

Adiós my friend.

A few days ago the great Robin Williams passed away, as we are all well aware. I was (and still am) a massive fan of Robin. He lit up my childhood with fabulous movies such as Mrs Doubtfire and Aladdin and then swooped into my teen years and moved me in movies such as Dead Poet's Society. Not only was he a fabulous comedian but he could delve into the darker side of acting. I loved that. As a lover of the dramatic arts myself I think that the most talented actors are those that showcase their range of talents. An actor that delivers the same (or very similar) performances consecutively for twenty years becomes dull, tiresome, forgettable. Mr Williams never gave the same performance twice. That to me, is pure talent. So I was heartbroken when I woke up the other morning to the news of his death. But what made is all the more devastating was the fact that it was suicide. For someone's only escape to be death, to me is the saddest of all tragedies. 

Suicide is not a joke. We all know that, we've heard the campaigns, been trampled by them. Everyone knows suicide is serious, that it leaves behind a catastrophe of grief and unanswered questions. The fact that this message seems to have finally gotten through is wonderful. But it's not enough. Suicide is the end. Once someone commits suicide there is no bringing them back, no helping them. They're gone. Well of course, I hear you saying, we're not idiots. No you're not. I'm not. We've got the message, suicide is serious. But what people don't seem to get is that depression is too. 

A person's mental health is important. Without it, doing the most simple of tasks seems utterly impossible. Just living is like wading through murky water with an anchor chained to your foot. All you want to do is shake off that anchor. But what the depressed (or anyone suffering from mental illness) don't understand is that it is the anchor that is supporting them, making sure they don't leave this world before they need to. It is the murky water which needs to become clear. Life is not the problem, depression is. 

Depression causes suicidal thoughts. Depression kills. Why is that message not sinking in yet? People don't wake up one day and out of the blue decide to take their own life. Something drives them to it. The most common cause is depression. This is a disease that does not just plague young people, people in hospitals or those already dying. Depression doesn't discriminate. It targets children, the middle aged, the elderly, the rich, the beautiful, the intelligent. Anyone can get depression and it can and will cause so much destruction, in that persons life, that it will drive them to commit the most permanent of acts. But before that it will eat away at that person, laugh at them, pock them, suffocate them. It will take away their purpose, their will, their life. 

Why do I stress this so much? Because people seem to think that depression is something that comes and goes for a few weeks, they think it takes away a person's smile and their happiness. Which it does. It robs you of both. But depression is greedy and once it takes those two things it will try and steal everything else. This is a disease that will make people someone that they are not. So is it really so shocking that it would make them want to die? 

But as we've learned, with the passing of Robin Williams, depression can make us into really great liars, pretenders, actors even off stage. Faking a smile is easy, smiling on the inside not so much. The happiest around you could also be the loneliest, the saddest. Look out for those around you. Don't just assume that because a person smiles and laughs and sings ninety percent of the time means things are all rainbows and puppies inside their head. Ask everyone how they are, not just the people who's mouth turns down. If a friend opens up to you, for gods sake listen. And guess what, just because a person is depression doesn't mean they can't smile or laugh. They will still have brief happy periods, good days. They just won't be like yours or mine. If you are depressed don't be afraid to reach out. Because not only does depression make liars of the depressed but it lies to you as well. It will make you think that death is the only solution, a quick fix. I get it. You only want relief, for your suffering to end. But I'm telling you, life is actually really bloody great. You don't want to miss the opportunity that you have been given because depression is prodding you with the false hope that death will cure you. Death is a permanent solution to a problem that is temporary (if you get the right help). Depression will not last forever and one day it will get better. I don't want to sound like everyone else, and I know that if you are depressed the promise of happy times in a not so distant future won't do much for you, but its the truth.

I know a lot of people who say that they want to help people. They say, "Well one day if I'm famous" or "One day when I'm a big shot lawyer" or "One day when I have more time" that they'll help save the world, the less fortunate, the unhappy. But dear friends today is your day. You have a voice and I have a voice. Doing little things helps. Saving the world isn't about donating large sums of money or becoming an ambassador. It is about using whatever you have in your disposal to make a difference. All I ask is that you use the voice you have been given to speak to those around you. Discuss the tragic passing of this great actor which will in turn hopefully lead you to discuss depression and its serious nature. Ask the people you know if they're okay. If there is someone who you think may be depressed, anxious, not eating enough please, please speak to them. A few words could lead them to open up to you; and if they do then you need to help that person and find them help. You can't save the world alone but you might be able to lead someone to save themselves. 

Xoxo Fangirl Out 

p.s Here are some links that will hopefully help you:

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/depression

http://www.headspace.org.au/is-it-just-me/find-information/depression

https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/Get_Help?gclid=CMz6p_LClMACFZcnvQodNTEA-w

http://www.teenhealthandwellness.com/static/hotlines

http://psychcentral.com/lib/telephone-hotlines-and-help-lines/000173

http://addiction.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Depression_Hotlines

Persistance

When the persistent need to resist...

Persistence is an excellent thing. Many of the most famous and well recognised people were persistent. Helen Keller, Alexander the Great, Martin Luther King Jr, Winston Churchill just to name a few. However many things that are excellent also have a bad side. 

Ice cream is excellent, but if consumed in too large a quantity over long periods of time is not good for you. As a lover of ice-cream this saddens me beyond belief. Why can't ice-cream be healthy and lettuce be full of calories? Seriously.

Exercise is excellent. It keeps you fit and healthy and gives you those lovely little things called endorphins. But let's be honest, there is rarely a day when we think, 'Yippee today's squat day!' 

The internet is excellent. It has helped me with assignments, to meet people on the other side of the world and it has enabled me to watch cat videos and I love myself a cat video, or ten. However, like all excellent things the internet can be really bad. It enables all the miserable, bad people to voice their 'opinions' about how much they hate everything, seriously everything. These people can't let an article about whipped cream pass them by without commenting about how stupid it is. The internet is also really fantastic at distracting people from the real world. Sometimes I wonder if I'd be the professional procrastinator that I am without the world wide web. Most likely yes, but let's just pretend its all the internet's fault.

As you can see, the excellent can also be not so excellent. Persistence is one of those excellent things that is great in small to medium doses but it can also go too far. 

I recently experienced some serious persistence in action. The persistent person was someone whom I'd known vaguely for a around five years but had been

better acquainted them in the last year. They're a male, a fairly good person, nice and seemed interested in me. But I think that had more to do with the fact that I was a single female and he was looking for someone to date. I however was not. I was not attracted to him in the physical sense or the emotional sense. There was no sparks flying on my end. I wasn't going to date someone I didn't feel it with because guess what? That's a perfectly acceptable reason. You don't have to date someone just because they want to date you. You should never go out with someone just because you like the attention they give you. 

While I didn't want to get jiggy with him he was a cool guy, funny and so I kept talking to him because (this may come as a shock to you, brace yourself) I wanted to be his friend. Wow, how amazing that a girl should ever want to be just friends with a boy that likes her. How unkind of her. Also I felt partially sorry for him. He annoyed me a lot of the time but some of the time he was really great to talk to. I do this with female friends so why is it not okay when its a member of the male species?


I made it clear to him early on that I was neither looking to date him or anyone, and that wasn't going to change. This didn't seem to faze him though. He was surprisingly resilient to my rejections. It didn't deter him at all. He'd ask me out to the movies, to his football games, to his house at least once a week, usually more. It was frustrating. I didn't want to hurt him but I didn't want to give him the wrong idea. So I continued to tell him no, that I was busy or that I really just wasn't in to him. But the advances kept coming. Again and again and again. This happened over the course of a year and a half. Eventually I'd get so fed up I'd ignore him for months and then give in again.

Recently after not talking to him for around 3 months he started messaging me on Facebook for the thousandth time and so I thought, okay why not? I'd forgotten partially just how annoying he could be and how badly he was looking for a girlfriend. It was all cool for a weeks. Just a few invites to football matches (I don't even like football) and getting asked maybe three or four times if I was single. This for him was subtle, downplaying just how much he wanted to take me out. Then it started to turn up a notch. The asking out got more intense. Persistent Paul he was (his name isn't actually Paul). Then one night he asked me over to his house to watch a movie and he kept asking and asking and asking. I said no. No. No. No. I told him I didn't think of him that way. I told him I couldn't I was busy. I told him I just plain and simple didn't want to. But he wasn't listening. He kept going. And going and going and going. I got so fed up that I told him I had an almost boyfriend and that guy would not appreciate me hanging at some other dudes house. Finally he stopped. I'd thought about telling him this many times. Lying about having a boyfriend because I knew that would shut him up. I don't know how but deep in my gut I knew it would see him retreating off into the shadows.  

Funnily enough though, when I told people I'd done this, I was the bad guy (or rather girl). I was a liar. I was being unfair and harsh. I should have just been straight with him. They seemed to forget the fact that I had been. I'd been straight with him for a year and a half. Over and over and over. He didn't care. In the end he respected some guy he didn't known (that didn't even exist) more than my answer, no. But it was me who was in the wrong. 

Why is this so? 

I have some theories. Firstly I think it comes down to girls being told from infancy that if a guy loves you he will chase you. This is, mostly, true. But chasing is not okay if you're chasing someone who's running away from you. There comes a point in time when the chasing is no longer chasing and is just plain annoying. If the girl (or boy) continues to say no, continues to put you off either they really aren't into you (like in my case) or they're playing far to hard to get and you need to let that lady go. Pestering someone repeatedly is not romantic, so please girls and boys do not buy into this game. 

My second theory is that we're often made to feel that us girls (unless you're supermodel good looking) should fall into the arms of whoever holds even the slightest affection for us. Especially if they're a 'really nice guy'. Ladies and gentlemen let me tell you something, if a boy is so 'nice' he will be okay with being your friend, with you not being interested. Yes it may hurt them, of course. They do after all have feelings. However if they make you feel guilty, tell you they've been 'friendzoned' like your friendship is a consolation prize or put you down then they aren't very 'nice'. Like I said to this guy, we're allowed to say no aren't we? We don't have to accept any guy who wants to hold our hand. We're allowed to not find someone attractive and not want to go out with them. Provided you're polite about it (unless they don't seem to know how to accept no as an answer). You are allowed to surpass a prince if he's not charming in your eyes. 

Despite the whole situation with Persistent Paul (his anonymity I will endeavour to protect) it has taught me several important lessons. Never will I judge a girl who doesn't want to date a guy even though he's really into her. I now understand how annoying  that is and to a better extent, we are allowed to not like people romantically. It does not make us a bad or shallow person. I now realize that persistence is great but there comes a point in time when it needs to be turned down a notch (or seven in PP's case). Lastly it has taught me that never will I ever pursue someone so intensely, persistently and constantly as PP. May his courage and determination be warn down over time so that one day he will find a lucky lady that appreciates him but isn't pestered by him. 

Xoxo Fangirl Out 

Why It's Totally Okay To Be Quiet

The Quiet Girl Speaks. 

Here's the deal; all my life I've been told that it's 100% not okay to be the quiet girl. On all my school reports it said the same thing, "Charlotte is a lovely student and she's progressing very well, BUT she's shy. We want her to be less quiet and open up more." Every. Single. Time.

It annoyed me and it annoyed my parents. While they'd often get frustrated when I had trouble speaking to adults they didn't like to be told that their daughter wasn't the best she could be because she was naturally quiet. But here's the thing, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being the quiet girl. Why? Because it's YOU. If you are naturally an introvert, shy or just plain mute then that is who you are and you shouldn't change for anybody. Being quiet isn't a flaw; in fact I'm inclined to think that it's a strength.

When you're the girl (or the boy) who isn't the first to talk or barge into group activities you have several advantages. Firstly it means you get to observe. Since being alive for eighteen years I've noticed quite a bit and I believe it's helped me not only as a writer but as a person. I see what people are hiding, I notice little things in peoples face and tone of voice and I can pick up on what others might not want you to. It's meant that as a friend, a daughter, a sister and as a human being I've been able to be more compassionate and a better listener. Secondly it's meant that people take less notice of me. This is probably a really hard thing for the non quiet types to understand but us shy peeps hate being noticed. Not all the time, sometimes we do like to get some recognition but mostly we just like to blend in. When you're quiet this is easy. Makes sense doesn't it?

But do you know what's the best about not being noticed? It means that when you really do, do (hehe, do do) something worth noticing it's even more special. When I started high school no one in my class knew who I was apart from my friends. I was the quiet girl and yes people probably knew my name they didn't really pay much attention to me and that was fine.

Then towards the latter half of the year our class began doing drama as part of our rotational elective system that you do in year eight. I may be quiet but that doesn't meant I'm not talented. My mother was an actress and she passed that ability on to me which I'd only discovered I was good at the year before and that I actually really liked it. I liked being up on stage and being noticed. I know, I know it's really odd considering that I'm shy as hell. But when I'm acting, I'm performing. I'm not me, I am the character and I am confident as that character there is barely any Charlotte visible. It's only once I come off stage, high with the adrenaline rush that acting gives me, that I become self conscious about what I just did. Long story short I'm not bad at acting and I like it.

So back to the point, the first class that we did I got up there with my friends who knew I was good and were excited to see me get to finally be noticed. We did some ridiculous sketch that had the whole class in fits of laughter even our very conservative teacher. Back then I only did comedy and my fellow actors will know just how difficult it is to get up on stage or anywhere for that matter knowing that your main aim is to make people laugh. To my shock it got me noticed. My whole class suddenly knew who I was and I was interesting, I was the girl who'd made them all laugh and they hadn't even really known me prior to that. I was like some kind of delicacy. It was great, I liked having the attention and I liked people thinking I was good at something but I was still quiet. And after a while all the attention became annoying and then eventually went away to my relief. Yes I came out of my shell a teensy bit more and yes I was slightly more confident in myself and as part of my class but I was still shy. I was still me.

For me to try and be loud and upfront and the life of the party would not be staying true to who I was. Because I've tried. For a long time I've been trying to be anything but quiet but it has never worked. I've only ever made myself sick with anxiety and felt like I was putting on a show. I hated it. So now, finally, I am comfortable in being shy. I used to think it was a dirty word. I used to think that for me to say I was shy and quiet was embarrassing but not any more. I'm okay with saying, 'hey my name's Charlotte I like books and acting but if you find me in a large crowd I'm probably not going to speak to anyone because I'm a quiet, shy person'. And you should all be okay with that too.

If we want girls to be comfortable in their bodies no matter what size their jeans are and if we want people to be able to be okay with being part of the LGBTIQ community then why can't I be okay with being shy? Why do I have to be told that my natural state of shyness is bad? I know people might think I'll be happier if I'm just a bit louder or that I'm shy because I'm insecure but that's not the case. Some of us are born shy and some of us aren't. Don't try and change me if you wouldn't want to change yourself.

Next time someone tries to tell you that its a bad thing to be shy or that you just need to be a bit more confident give them the flick. If you hate being shy then that's okay, if you want to be one of the loud people then that's okay I'm not trying to stop you from trying to do that. All I'm saying is that if you are shy and you honestly don't see any problem with your shyness except for when people tell you otherwise then just embrace it. It has its perks and yes it has its downsides but just like someone might have a wicked sense of humour it's you and you do not need to change if you don't want to.

Where Do Fictional Characters Go When They Die?

I'm answering the big questions.

Where do we go when we die? This is a question which most of us have thought about at least once. It's something that scares us immensely. Sometimes we feel pressured to believe that there's life after death or that there's a big fat nothing. It's a topic that can divide people and ruin relationships. It can keep us safe (when you're not sure whether there's anything after you cork it you're not exactly jumping up and down to find out). But there's no denying there is no one answer, or belief in terms of where people go or don't go when they say toodaloo to planet earth.

For me it's easy. I believe that when we die we go to heaven or somewhere nice. I have complete faith in this and it doesn't keep me up at night. Why do I think this way? Well I am a Catholic and believe in God and the whole eternal life thing but I just cannot believe that this is it. That when I breath my last breath I will never think or talk or interact again. I demand the pearly gates to heaven. But something that does plague me, that leaves me scratching my head and begging for answers is where exactly do fictional characters go when they die?

No I am not crazy. No I do not need any psychiatric help. I am just a girl who loves books and the characters in them and when they die I want to know where they scamper off to.

It's perfectly rational to want to know. After all so many of my beloved characters seem to get killed off (dear authors if you are reading this, the deaths you are causing are becoming just a bit too much and we need to have a talk about it next time we catch up) and I am simply concerned.

I invest hours of time into these figments of an authors imagination that get put onto paper and then passed around the world; and then when they are booted off the face of the earth I would like to know where they end up. I want to know if they're safe. If they're having a good time. Are they drinking pina colada's and getting caught in the rain? THESE ARE THE BIG QUESTIONS PEOPLE. Stop worry about where you go to or whether you are going to be content. Not everything is about you, you, you!

But it's not only the characters who die in the novels that I worry about. It's all of them. When I close the book do the lucky ones who didn't suffer at the hands of John Green or Suzanne Collins live on? Have they been living prior to my picking up the book? Will they die someday? I like to think they all have happy ever afters but will they actually live them? And if they do will they then die? Because we all know once you do enough living death is inevitable. Or how about how they die? Will it be gentle and in old age? Or will they get hit by a bus. Once you start asking yourself these sorts of questions life just isn't the same, your brain has to work ten times harder and your poor little heart is on the verge of combustion. WHEN WILL MY SUFFERING END?

You may say to me "But you believe in everlasting life, in a heaven for yourself. Why don't you believe this is the same for your beloved characters?" I understand where you are coming from and why you may be confused but dear friends my brain is not any normal brain. For some reason I cannot set my heart at ease, give me a night of peace by convincing myself that fictional characters go to fandom heaven or normal heaven or just some sort of heaven. Why? Well here's my main arguments. Not all these characters live on planet earth, not all of them believe in heaven and worst of all these characters do not live in my world, they live in the pages of a book. There is no Bible or Wikipedia page or yahoo answer by a dodgy 14 year old boy about where fictional characters go when they die. No one seems to care. But I do. I care. I am tossing and turning and pulling my hair out and in general losing my mind. SOMEONE GIVE ME ANSWERS. GIVE ME PROOF. SET ME AT EASE.

I am at a loss. I love to read. But the more books I read the more characters I encounter which means I have more characters to worry about in terms of death and everlasting life. I am trying to move on, to worry about other things, like will I get accepted into University or why is my house on fire, but I just can't. I'll be walking down the road having a good old time and then I'll pass a book store and see a copy of my favourite book. This should make me happy. I should smile and say "Oh look it's Suzanne Collins The Hunger Games! Oh and look there's Rebecca's James' Beautiful Malice, what a good time I had reading those books, oh how much I love them." But no! No I see these books and my hands start to shake and my body begins to quiver and fur starts sprouting all over my body and then I turn into a werewolf. Hang on wait. No that's not right. Sorry I was thinking about Twilight oops. No see what happens for me is I start worrying about the characters that died in these books and how they're going and are they floating on a cloud conversing with the Big Man? Then I begin to have a full blown panic attack and I have to go home and I don't get any ice-cream. I know it's a tragedy.

Please tell me your thoughts. What do you believe happens to fictional characters when they die? Are you stressing out like me? Or DO YOU NOT HAVE A HEART.

xoxo Fangirl Out.

My Christmas List Fangirl Style

Ho Ho Ho! 

So it's that time of year again. The weather is frosty, the snow is falling (not in my case because I live in Australia where we get a hot, fly filled Christmas), Santa has made his list and he's checking it twice and believe me he has found out who's been naughty and nice. Cookies are being made, presents are being wrapped and you've probably eaten more than you should have and seen all those relatives who you struggle to remember the names of. But it's all okay because it's Christmas and while it may be incredibly stressful and somewhat exhausting you grin and bear it because Santa is coming soon and well let's face it, Christmas just isn't complete without all the hassle. A lot of us celebrate Christmas differently. For some of us it's about the birth of Christ, for other's its about getting to see our family and for the more shallow it's about the gifts. But I think what we all can relate to is that it is a time of giving. So this is the things I think you should be including on your Christmas list this year if you're the fangirl type. By the way I am not sponsored by any of these but I'm open to it ;).

1. The Mortal Instruments on DVD. If you haven't purchased this wonderful piece of amazing yet, maybe like me you're banned from buying yourself anything from November 30th to December 26th by your parents, put it on your list. While the movie was a little different from the book I found it very, very enjoyable and I have put it at the very top of my list. Plus I need some Jamie Campell Bower to get through post holiday depression.

2. Movie vouchers/gift card. After Christmas we're all usually a little strapped for cash but there's always that one rich friend who is still rolling in it (p.s dear rich friends I hate you). Said rich friends have been known to casually suggest hitting up a movie. Now we all know that movies are getting pricier and pricier and the food there... I can't even talk about it, the prices make me want to cry. However if you ask for a movie voucher or a movie gift card you won't have to worry. It's a great gift to give as well, it never disappoints especially since so many great movies come out after Christmas.

3. Fandom shirts. I LOVE FANDOM SHIRTS. I'm not a big merch buyer but fandom shirts make me giddy. If you're looking for a great place but don't know any try here: http://en.qstoms.com/imaginedesigns they're cheap and I'm pretty sure if you ask nicely you can get them custom made. My favourite one is the 'Tumblr is my OTP' shirt and I plan on buying it after Christmas when I have a little money from my Nan (love you Nanna)!

4. Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell. I've seen this around for a couple months now and while I'm not putting it on my list I'm sure many of you would be interested in it. According to goodreads it's a  "A coming-of-age tale of fan fiction, family and first love.". Definitely one us fangirls.

5. Things to get you up to date. Next year a whole bunch of amazing fandom related things come out so here's what you'll need if you don't want to be left out. A copy of the Divergent series. Divergent's movie comes out in March next year and is set to be BIG. Maybe not as big as Twilight, Harry Potter or even Hunger Games but still BIG in it's own right and probably really, really awesome so why would you want to miss out? 

The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. This book is a whole new kind of magic and sadness and you don't want to miss a second of it. Read the book before the movie comes out in June but I'm telling you this is something you won't forget and I'm pretty sure it's gonna to be a BIG hit. It also stars two of Divergents stars as the lead roles. While I was hesitant about the casting for this movie in the beginning from watching the actors a little more closely and adjusting somewhat I am actually really happy. 

The Mortal Instruments last book comes out next year and hopefully the second movie so make sure you read the whole series by City of Heavenly Fire's release somewhere during March, May or April; I just plain can't remember. Nevertheless go buy the whole series it's amazing. 

A new season of Sherlock starts in January so make sure if you aren't caught up already you get to it. I know I have to. The DVD would be a great present to put on your list.

6.  If you truly can't think of anything you want for Christmas this year just ask for a book gift card. That way you'll be able to chose the books you want and you can get any that come out later in the year. 

Well that's what I think y'all should have on your list this year. I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and a happy new year. Also happy holidays to all you fangirls who don't celebrate Christmas and maybe do things a little differently, I hope you all have a great time. Also on a serious note please stay safe. This time of year is very dangerous road wise and also some people can out do themselves during Christmas with the food and drink. While I believe Christmas is  a time for indulgence, safety should be considered. Keep an eye on your family members who maybe aren't doing too well and remember this is a time of love and it's not all about the presents.

xoxo Fangirl Out.

Honorable mentions:

http://www.cafepress.com.au/mf/28904873/otp-eurostyle_sticker?productId=279131553 This sticker is super cute but may be a little hard to describe to Mum, Dad and Santa.
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/21181060721229490/ For all you Marvel fans this is for you. The only thing is I don't know where you'd get it from.
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/21181060721229463/ These are super fun and seem easy to assemble ;)

When Your Friends Are Fandomless

So your friends suck

Friends are awesome. As a general rule they tend to like you so that immediately makes them cool (with you at least) and you tend to be able to get along quite well with them. However just because your best friends for life doesn't mean you share all the same interests. Now that can be okay when one of you is really into soccer and the others really into ballet. It can get a little more tricky when one of you is a hardcore super mega fangirl and the other just well, isn't. If you're one of those lucky guys or gals that has never faced this issue because all your friends are super mega hardcore awesome fangirls too then I HATE YOU! WHY? WHY NOT SHARE HUH?! Sorry I just, uh get a little jealous sometimes it's no biggy. In an ideal world everyone would be a fangirl... hey hang on , no, no! That is not a good idea. It would be messy and sassy and yes awesome but chaos. No, okay so scratch the world of fangirls thing, in an ideal world all fangirls friends would be fangirls. But the world we live in is less than ideal. Us fangirls have to cope with the fact that for some of us our friends just don't understand when we get super mega hardcore excited when a new episode of our favourite TV show comes out or why we're crying at two in the morning when we finish a book and one of our beloved (and sometimes *coughalwayscough* hot) characters die. For some of us it's easy to deal with this. For others not so much.

Here's my helpful hints on how to have a great friendship despite one of you lacking fangirlyness.

1. You are friends for a reason. Your interests should not define your friendship. Sure it's great if you do share interests but you don't have to like everything they like and visa versa. That goes for books and TV shows as well. Why are you friends in the first place? Surely not because one of you is a fangirl.

2. Try not to let that fangirl part of you dominate your friendship. It can be extremely exhausting and especially so for someone who just won't get it which is in no way their fault. Not being a fangirl isn't a crime and it isn't something you should put your friend down for. They might have interests which you can't relate to such as an obsession with history or whales. Does it bother you? Probably not, but they're most likely kind enough not to bring up the whales ALL. THE. TIME.

3. Find fangirl friends. No I am not saying replace non fangirls friends, what I'm saying is find some additional friends who are also into fandoms. This will help a lot. You'll get that fangirl part out of you with them and save the other stuff for your fandomless friends.

4. Do not try and convert them. This NEVER EVER WORKS. Ever. Believe me I have tried. You need to find the fangirl dark side yourself. Forcing it on someone (who probably isn't a suitable convert candidate anyway) isn't a good idea and it is usually never successful. It's just exhausting and damaging for both you and the friendship. I have first hand experience in this and no matter how hard I tried none of my friends wanted to swap stories about how amazing The Hunger Games and The Mortal Instruments were or search Dan Howells Tumblr tag. Be considerate to your friend. Also they don't try and force their love of whales on you do they? But if they do THEN maybe some pay back is in order. Maybe.

5. Don't get mad about it. Try not to defend your fandoms too much (I know this is very, very, excruciatingly hard but it's important). You have to accept that they just simply are never going to be able to relate to that part of you or understand your very healthy obsession with fictional men.

6. Stay true to who you are. No matter what you do in life you need to be you. Hold your head high and walk into every situation thrown your way confident in who you are. This includes friendships. It can be really hard to have a friend who doesn't get the fact that you value your books more than your hair and even more so when all your friends are this way. So don't ever, I repeat, ever let go of the fangirl part of you because everyone around you just doesn't understand. If being a fangirl makes you unique then GO YOU! Uniqueness is not a bad thing. In fact I think it is a fabulous thing and believe it or not a lot of people find it an attractive thing. Don't be a clone. Be you. Be a fangirl. Be a hippie. Be a nerd. Be a god damn cat for all I care. Just be who you are. Being like everybody else is completely overrated and utterly boring. Just because your friends with someone doesn't mean you need to be the carbon copy of them. AND they don't need to be you 2.0. They are who they are and you are who you are. I know it's so cliche but its true. Just be friends. Enjoy each others company. Laugh. Cry. Eat. Obsess. Eat. Sing. Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat. Be silly. But do it all together. That is what makes a great friendship. As well as being able to realize that food is life and God.

I hope you all have awesome bosom buddies.

xoxo Fangirl Out.

Just Five Books

Let me educate you.

So as you might have guessed already I am a fangirl and fangirls usually enjoy reading. I am no exception to the that rule and I don't think I ever will be. Books have been such a big part of my life, even in the womb. No I couldn't read as a fetus but my mother was determined that I would be a lover of literature and from my conception I was read to. This continued on until I could read by myself and boy did I read. But enough of that. Let's get down to business. I've read a lot of books over the years and picking a favourite or even a top five is like making me chose my favourite child. I actually don't have any kids as I am seventeen years old and have no hopes of making it on Teen Mom (But boy is that a good show! Drama! Drama! Drama!) so I guess for me it's more like making me pick what I like better chocolate or carbs. IT'S JUST SUCH A HARD DECISION. So instead of my telling you my top five books I thought I'd give you five books that you should read before you're 18 since I will be 18 in a month (Of course you can read them after you turn the big one eight but I just don't know what the books gods will have to say about it)! Here is my list of the five books that any reader should read before their 18th birthday.

1. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I know, I know I had to start off with something so original but this book should be on all best books lists. In case you've been living under a rock (if you have is it nice under there? Does it get a little squishy I've been thinking of moving houses but rent is just so expensive) The Hunger Games is set in a dystopian society where as punishment for a series of uprisings in America, now known as Panem, the leader of the country, The Capitol forces the twelve districts to send off a boy and a girl between the ages of twelve and eighteen to fight to the death. There can only be one winner. This novel deals with the year Katniss Everdeen, sixteen years of age, volunteers for her sister in the Games and her battle. It's utterly thought provoking and fast paced. You'll have read it in no time and believe me you will be grasping and wailing for more. It's a series but don't let that put you off. Unlike some other series the books just keep getting better and as of recently the movies have too. Katniss is a strong character but so are the other characters in the book and you'll find yourself attached to many of them. It's literally a book anyone can read and don't be scared by the violent themes because it is done tastefully and does not glorify violence or death in any way. If there was one book I had to read for the rest of my life this would be it.

2. Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier. Set in the 30's this books follows the life of the novels protagonist who we never learn the name of and her marriage to the elusive Maximilian de Winter and his high class life. However Maxims life is far from ordinary and is riddled with secrets and mysteries which will definitely keep you hooked all the way through especially when you learn about the real circumstances surrounding his previous wifes death. This is one of my favourite books and I couldn't put it down. However at the time my mother had been nagging me to read it for quite a few years and I'm one of those people that doesn't like being told what to read so I kept putting it at the bottom of my book pile. So what did I do when I finally got around to reading it? Well I read it in secret, when my Mum was off at the shops or late at night so it took me well over a week to finish it but boy was it worth it. It has a definite Jane Eyre feel about it but the lead character isn't quite as strong as Jane or a poster model for feminism but it's wonderful non the less. If you only ever read one book that isn't set in the modern day then you must read this.

3. If I Stay by Gayle Forman. Forget The Fault in Our Stars when it comes to sad books this book absolutely ruined me. I can't give too much away but basically the main character Mia loves music and is set to have a promising career, she has a great family and a boyfriend she loves very much. Then she gets in a car crash and has an out of body experience. She has some hard decisions to make (If she's stays, duh) and really it is just utterly heartbreaking. It's not very big and is well paced. Mia is a great character as are her boyfriend Adam, her family and her best friend. You won't forget it believe me. It does have a sequel but is was a let down if I'm being honest. The movie is being filmed at the moment.

4. Dead Time by Anne Cassidy. So I haven't read a lot of crime novels and never really thought I'd like them but Dead Time certainly is a piece of wonderful. Rose and her step brother Joshua haven't seen each other for five years, not since their respective parents disappeared. They've been told that they're dead but five years later when they meet up again some evidence and strange occurrences lead them to suspect or rather hope otherwise. Also Rose and Joshua's odd chemistry that will most definitely lead into some sort of relationship is interesting. I really liked this book and I think it's definitely something you should read. I think the main reason I am adding it to this list though is because I read it's sequel Killing Rachel a few days ago and can't get it out of my head. This series is one of the most frustrating books I've ever read but thoroughly enjoyed at the same time. Because only two of the four books have been published a lot of your questions will be left unanswered but it only fuels you more to demand the next book. Rose can be a tad annoying but she's been through a lot and  you will eventually sympathize with her despite also wanting to knock her around the head a few times. Definitely one to read if you like crimes or suspense.

5. Beautiful Malice by Rebecca James. One of my favourite books by one of my favourite authors and I knew that this list needed an Australian book (I'm from Australia if you didn't know). I was tossing up between a Maureen McCarthy, my favourite Australian author, and a Steph Bowe but decided that Beautiful Malice took the cake. In case my amateur book summing up skills don't do this book justice I thought I'd let Allen and Unwin tell you a little more about this riveting book. "Katherine has moved away from her shattered once-perfect family to start a new life in Sydney. There she keeps her head down until she is befriended by the charismatic Alice, and her life takes her in new directions. But there is a dark side to Alice, and as we learn the truth of Katherine's sister's death and Alice's background their story spirals to an explosive finale. A potent, intense and simply unputdownable psychological thriller from an exciting voice." I cannot express my love for this book more. No words can ever do this book justice so you just have to trust me on this one. Find it, read it and then cry a little bit. Then come to me and we can scream over how fabulous it is. It is such a juicy, juicy book, with a page turning plot and evil and seductive characters. You will never forget it. Rebecca James also wrote Sweet Damage which is just as amazing but this one is just... to die for. Take my advice and give it a go and I promise you're going to love me. 

So those are my five books to read before you turn eighteen. Since that was amazingly fun for me and a little change from my usual sarcastic and witty posts I think I might do this in the near future. There's so many I would have loved to put on there but I thought I'd put more books people aren't as familiar with. More interesting right? Stay awesome fangirls and keep on reading.

xoxo Fangirl out.