My Transformation From Hipster Teen to Fangirl

I've gotta secret can you keep it? 

I am a hard core fangirl. They don't get much more obsessed than me. My parents think I am a part of a cult and sometimes *cougheverdaycough* I question my sanity. However no one, not even my best friend knows. Okay so I do have a few real life friends (gotta love real people) who know but I don't sit with them at lunch or anything. 

The friends I've had for what feels like over a billion years have ABSOLUTELY no clue. They know I am a big reader but they don't even know what a fangirl is only perhaps in terms of One Direction fans. Not the type of fangirl who spends endless hours sobbing over a book or begging and pleading with her parents to buy the next book in a series. And I LIKE it that way. I don't want them to know my secret identity. For two reasons. 1. I'm not that type of girl around them, we aren't the kind of friends to obsess over Mr. Fictional together and we never will be. I don't resent that and I don't wish it any differently. 2. I feel like a secret agent. Like a ninja or James Bond. Hiding my secret identity from those closest to me. I AM FREAKING HANNAH MONTANA!! Except I promise not to sing about having the best of both worlds. 

Is it difficult? Yeah I guess it is sometimes when I am grieving the loss of a favourite character and I have no one to talk to it about. Or when my friends hate on reading. But I think a lot of fangirls experience this and we are strong despite sometimes having emotional breakdowns when ships sink/break up. 

But here comes my biggest confession to date. Okay deep breath I can do this. I USED, emphasis on used, to be a hipster. I also used to be popular and act kind of stupid and pretty girl popular. Ugh I know it's really embarrassing. I was still a serious reader from a very young age but it was more of a hobby and I wasn't a 'fangirl' yet by any means. Ok so yeah I seriously used to be all hipstery and in grade eight (god bless year eight me she had so much to learn) I cared a great deal about popularity and what people thought of me. I was moody and 'just 2 kewl  4 skewl' I still got good grades after a period of adjustment (high school work was a big shock for 13 year old me). But there was just a lot of pressure to be popular and 'cool' and there still is but I guess I just ignore it now. 

Now I know you all must be dying to know how I made the transformation from hipster to fangirl. Well it was very, very simple. I found Twilight. You can hate on Twilight as much as you want  but it saved me from a typical high school life. I got majorly obsessed and I was pretty much a different person from then on. I became ME. And I like me. I like my fangirl self. I didn't like hipster me because that wasn't me. I read a lot more and I didn't hide that. I hid how obsessed I was with books and the people in them but not that I liked reading. I am never embarrassed to admit my love of books not even to the most popular person. Shame on you if you don't like reading and if you think I'm living the 'nerd lyf' because of it then please take your idiocy away from me.                                                             Dear Twilight, despite being about a                                                                                                                                                                creepy love story and a kinda dull girl I still                                                                                                                                                       love you and thank you for saving me from                                                                                                                                                        my hipster self.

Then when I was 15 I found The Hunger Games and I loved it just as much as Twilight and I tried to find out all the goss I could on the cast and the movie (it was just rumored then) and the next year (last year) I got Facebook and found amazing facebook fan pages. I also found out Tumblr is not just a place for hipsters but also for fan blogs and changed my blog to teeny/fangirly. Then this year I created my own Facebook multi fandom page (with a bunch of other lovely ladies who I love so much) All You Need To Know About Fangirling and it's the best thing I've ever done. From then on I was a serious, serious fangirl. I now know every single bit of fandom information. I have gotten into a lot more fandoms thanks to my fangirl friends (TMI, TFIOS, TID, Divergent, Youtubers ect.) and I LOVE it. 

Around my friends I'm a typical teenager but at home, on my computer I transform into fangirl. I am not solely a fangirl, it doesn't define who I am. But it is a large part of me however I am also into the things my friends are into like make-up and talking about how horrible school is. So I guess what I'm saying is that being a fangirl doesn't make you who you are but discovering that I have that fangirl gene inside me helped make me who I am today. It saved me in a lot of ways. I realized life isn't about popularity and being cool and that books are way more fun. But I can still have friends who are into different things to me. 

If you have any stories about how you discovered you were a fangirl I'd love to hear them. <3 

xoxo fangirl out.

13 year old me. Oh Charlotte you were so cool with that iPod shuffle and side fringe. And can we talk about the tartan shorts and frilly mid drift? So swaggy fresh my friend. Oh and that peace sign! God bless you sweatheart.

Me now :) See I just became regular, average me with an affiliation for words and books and fictional men.